Seriously...Look at me....Do I look like the Devil..... I mean, lets compare. Me....
Dirt.....I mean Bert....
Don't let this goofy innocent face fool you. It is I Not Bert who suffers the most in this household. You have no idea of all the bull I have to deal with around here.
Every single guest that Bert invites into our house bugs me. They follow me around, they push me with their snouts, the try to get me to run from them, they drool on me.......they are idiots, I tell you.....k-9 simpletons.
I have a castle that Berts My Vickie had made for me so I would be safe from the drooling, staring, teasing excuse for a species. but do they respect that?
No!!! not a one of them shows any appreciation for my eminence.
For example.....Murphy....I even smacked him on the nose one day to show him my superiority. The bugger was bleedin all over the place. I figured I had really showed him what to. But the next thing I know.....
The nincompoop was trying to get up into my Castle for another meeting of the claws. Shees what is with these guys.so then he goes for the "Pitty Look" when he realizes he can't get me and that his nose hurts. Who does Berts My Vickie go to in comforting remisseration? NOT ME.
I don't find the little guests near as annoying as I do the big ones. They do try to stare me down but I find them to be of little interest to me.
That cold winter night when I first came live with this wild array of creatures, I knew exactly what I was in for. I came in prepared to deal with a bunch of adolescent k-9's. Don't get me wrong, I am great ful that Bert's My Vickie took me in, just know that I didn't pick this house without knowing full well what I was getting myself into.
Of course there is always the exception and that is Sweet Jamie. For a k-9, she is the exception to the rule. Gentle, quiet, respectful.....key word here...RESPECTFUL
But for the rest of them I must be always ready to teach them the errors of their ways. IF it takes a firm smack on the face or a ripping bite on the butt, well, a cat has got to do what a cat has to do.
So Bert...FYI....I see you comin dude.....I know all about your "ability to charm" all those two legged anthropodes....but just beware...I am watching and waiting....I will get you my lovely.....hee heee ehhheeeee