Thursday, August 2, 2012

SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!!

Warning:  
This post may be, and probably is, Not For The Week Of Heart.  Please consider yourself WARNED.  
If you read further and look at any pictures past the first two,  I Am Not Responsible....
So here goes.  Today My Buddy Big Murphy and I were meeting at a local Boys and Girls club to teach them "How To Stay Safe" in the mountains.  You know the deal.  Well why we were waiting for My Vickie and Paulette to quit talking, This is the painful story that Murphy told me.   

It is all truth, nothing but the truth, and unfortunately, We now have the  pictures to prove it.  I'll turn the time over to Murphy.  

"Thanks Bert buddy, I'll take it from here.  So this is how it went.  
Paulette (I'll call her "My Human" from here on.  I am sure you will understand why I am not giving her a more loving name because of what she did to me.)

Two nights ago, I was minding my own business when "My Humans" daughter came for a visit.  She walked in, placed her purse on the couch table, then both of them went off into another room, without a "Hidy Ho", or "how ya doing" to me.  They just left.



Well, there I was sitting there and there was that purse lying right close to me and well, whats a guy supposed to do?  Well, I am a search dog after all and there it was, this bag filled with great smells.  I decided to investigate.

When I opened the big part of the bag I was rewarded with some nice smelling one dollar bills, oh and there were some five dollar bills and a few ten dollar bills.  I took a taste of them, because us dogs like to use all of our senses, taste, touch, sight, smell..... etc.

Well they tasted pretty good so......I ate them.

It was so good that I ate a few more and a big piece of paper.  Then I made my way through her purse and found a wallet.  Inside it I found a couple of credit cards but they don't chew up as good as money.  But in the wallet I found a whole bunch of crisp new twenty dollar bills.   Yes, I had struck Gold.

I was busy swallowing them when "My Human" and her daughter came back into the room.  As soon as they realized their precious money was Gone My Human ran to the cupboard and grabbed the dreaded bottle of HYDROGEN PEROXIDE.  Down my mouth she dumped the stuff.  

You may not know this but that stuff will make a guy throw up just about everything in his stomach and that is what I did.  
After all the work I had done in carefully chewing up the money and sending it down to my tummy, she forced it all back up.  What is wrong with humans.  And when I figured I had thrown up everything in my tummy that I possibly could and was starting to feel my tongue again, "MY HUMAN" poured some more of that stuff down my throat to make me throw up more.
Before I was done, I had thrown up $157.00 dollars and a grocery list.  Gee Whiz, Can you believe what I had to go through for $157.00 bucks.  The least they could have done was wait until it came out the other end.  I mean, come on.
I heard them moaning and groaning for a couple of hours after that, about what piece goes with what other piece.  Then they were looking for tape to tape it all back together.  All for a couple of pieces of paper.   Oh and lets not forget all the gagging they were doing when they were sifting through my vomit.  I gotta say, that was almost worth it.  So there's my story.  and what lesson did I learn from this?

If your gonna eat the green, don't get caught in the act....

Disclaimer:  This hydrogen peroxide episode was under the supervision of Murphys veterinarian.  Be sure not to try this at home without contacting your vet.  AND NEVER USE IPECAC

Oh Murphy, this makes my tennis ball episode look pretty silly.  It was worth about 75 cents.....well the ball was, the actual surgery to get it out was a "little bit" more.
Night all




42 comments:

Mason the Dog's Mom said...

WARF! I have eaten paper monies too! Mommy got M-A-D!

~Stinky Kisses, Mason

houndstooth said...

Hee hee! Mom is looking a little green after reading that story, but I'm laughing like crazy! This totally sounds like something Kuster would do!

Bunny

Keisha said...

I am sorry.

Rubie and Poots (her Mum) said...

Oh Murphy...... We laughed a lot at your story.....we are just picturing your head in the handbag finding all that loot!!

Sorry about them making you throw up.....

Are they still spendable because obviously you need more treats now?!

Tail Wuggles, Rubie xxx

Sally Ann and Andy said...

I've chewed up dollar bills, but Mommy always took tham away from me. She taped a 20 dollar bill together once, and there is a chewed up one dollar bill on the fridge currently. I chewed it. Me Me Me, Sally Ann

GOOSE said...

Bert I can't wait to see Murf on Friday and give him a high five (with my paw not the green papers). Murphy needs to work on being more stelth like. You know what we could have gottin' with all that. I do hope the Murphanator is feeling ok after the whole thing.
Blessings,
Goose

Winston said...

OH my Dogness..my mom has waters leaking from her eyes and she can't stop laughing!!!!!!! Poor Murphy...made a deposit and the human couldn't wait for a natural withdrawal. Did the peroxide give Murphy pearly white toofers???

Murphy said...

Oh Big Murphy, what was your peep thinking? You worked soooooo hard to properly search that purse and destroy that money because after all even us dogs know it is the root of all evil! And the proof is in the puke . . . . looked evil to us. So sorry buddy. Hope to see you tomorrow!

Your friends,

Little Murphy & Stanley

harrispen said...

That was a lot of cash! I guess she should stick to plastic since you can just get a new card and it doesn't cost anything if it gets eaten.

Cindy

Marley said...

Poor Murphy, just doing what you were trained to do. It would have all come out in the end. My Lady laughed so hard she cried! Not me, I sympathize with all the ralphing you had to do.
Licks,
Marley

chicamom85 said...

The humans take a chance every time they leave items like purses within our reach. We have the right to items we can get to. I am sorry it turned out to be so gross. I have never eaten money, I wonder if the 20's taste better then the one's.

Loveys Sasha

The Furries of Whisppy said...

Good golly Murphy! We don't know whether to laugh at what you did or cry at what you did to those green papers. LOL!

Mitch and Molly said...

We've never eaten money before. It doesn't sound like much fun at all!

Love ya lots,
Mitch and Molly

IRIS E DONA said...

Poor Murphy !! It wasn't fair !!
(Well, Mom cannot stop laughing... I really don't understand why ! )
Kisses
Iris

Molly The Wally said...

Murphy that was just the funniest thing. Thank you for sharing that with us Bert. HOL funny. Have a great Friday.
Best wishes Molly

Mango said...

Tragic. That money must have been totally yummers. Sorry about the whole barfing incident. Ish.

Slobbers,
Mango

Molly The Wally said...

Easy has nominated this for my 'Share it Sunday and no wonder it is so funny. Just pop over and let me know it is OK and I'll do the rest.
Best wishes Molly

Lassiter Chase and Benjamin said...

Thanks for sharing your story Murphy! We've NEVER thought to go look thru our Mommy's purse -- we can't wait to see what she's got in there! We will just make sure we don't get caught in the act! Oh boy - sounds like so much fun!!!!

Reilly / Denny Cowspotdogs said...

Dog oh dog - there is nothing like having expensive taste!

Amber DaWeenie said...

I just don't understand it! Why do humans get so upset when we eat the green stuff! It be green, right? And green stuffs are supposed to be good fur us. I eats lettuce all the time and Mom doesn't get upset...but if I so much as sniff a green paper, she gets all quirky.

Sam said...

OMD - the poor guy! I'm not sure which is worse, being in trouble for doing that or having to throw it all up!

Sam

Jazzi said...

Oh Man Bert!!
Yes, what you went through for money and then ya didnt get to keep it!! We did get a laugh out of it though!! hehe

wags
Jazzi

Casey said...

OMD! All your hard work, ruined. Humans get so worked up over those green papers!

Val said...

Headline in local paper should read:
A Big Dog takes Big Money!!BOL
Oh my, I guess everything did come out in the "end" or at least it didn't have to come out the end!!
My Gracie had to do that H2O2 thing when she stole away with a block of rat poison...it was not a pretty site.
Thanks for some good laughs this friday morning.

Flea said...

Oh. My. WORD. Hilarious! Poor, poor baby. Poor, poor human's daughter!

Once upon a time I volunteered in a 3rd grade classroom whose pet was a ferret. If he was out and my purse was on the floor, he always went straight for my lipstick. Sometimes he was quick enough to tuck himself away and get it open. Always the Clinique ones.

Rocky Creek Scotties and Rocky Creek Ramblings said...

Our furiend Snazzi Jazzi sent us over!! Wow!! Are they using you as practice for a slot machine or something??

XOXO
Lilly, Piper, Carrleigh and Ivy

Two French Bulldogs said...

Oh my word!!!!! Din't they know if it is in our reach it's ours!!! We are so happy you are okay. So are they letting you keep the green stuff? They could have waited for the crappy money to come out
Benny & Lily

KEY WEST COLLIES said...

Hmmm, that sure is a lot of dough. We would have loved to see them trying to piece the money back together.

Essex & Sherman

Jazzi said...

hey
I read this before and where did the throw up picture go??

wags
Jazzi

The Army of Four said...

Woo! We're glad Murphy is OK. What a harrowing experience!
Luv,
DAve

Roo said...

OMD! That was a lot of dough you ate Murphy BOL (Barf Out Loud)! Hardy Har Har Har! Yiy. What an ordeal for all of you. Glad it all came out okay in the end (or the front would be more accurate) OMD! Too much!

Waggin at ya,
Roo

stellaroselong said...

Hi Bert!
My name is Stella Rose and I am new to blogging...i found yur page from some of your friends...what an interesting life you lead!!
After reading your story I will never go near my mom's purse ever..or eat her money cos that is where my blueberries and strawberries come from....
have a great day
stella rose!

Mazzie @ Mazzie Takes Manhattan said...

Woof to you Bert!!!! I can't believe that Murphy ate $157.00. I hope that his humans have learned to keep their wallets out of his reach. Much love to you Bert - XXOO - Mazzie

2browndawgs said...

OH my Murphy. You really did it. lol

Tom, Tama-Chan, Sei-Chan, Bibi-Chan, Gen-Chan, Vidock, Violette said...

That is seriously distressing stuff! I stay well away from #1's backpack and anything inside it.

Woofs,
Tommy

Nola said...

OMD that is nasty!
Nola

The Cat From Hell said...

Oh Bert!
I am so glad it was not YOU! But boy oh boy I feel for Murphy! I had to have hydrogen peroxide when I was a kitten when I ate one of Daddy's Pills. That stuff is horrible.
Kozmo at the Cat From Hell
PS Mommy wants to know if Queen Penelope is beinga lady or is she being a pain in the you know where?

dougall.dog said...

Oh dear, poor Murphy. Silly humans should keep their stuff out of chewing reach!

TANK said...

Poor doggie... but the vomit picture was cool.

Jed and Abby in MerryLand said...

We're filled with sympathy for Murphy, Jed having suffered the same indignity when he was much younger and got into a whole bottle of doggie VitaCaps. He was spewing for accuracy and distance for ages. We're sure your mom was just trying to be sure you weren't poisoned by the ink and metals and other junk the Beans stick on paper money now to keep bad Beans from copying it. Not to mention the cocaine; mama said she read someplace that something like 80% of all $20 bills in the U.S. were contaminated with cocaine. Yuck.

Mama says she's just glad not to be the bank teller that is going to get to replace the ripped up bills. Or even partial bills, as long as you have enough of the bill to prove you had the whole thing. Couldn't have been any fun for your mom and Bean sissy to clean that up, either. So maybe you shouldn't do it again.

Murph must be feeling better, if he was back at work already.

Jed & Abby

Sagira said...

Oh my goodness. Good thing they had the Peroxide around to help get that stuff back up.

KB said...

That's quite a story. One time, K ate mushrooms and we poured hydrogen peroxide down her gullet but she didn't throw up. That's actually very bad because the stuff will eat a hole in the stomach. So, we had to go the emergency vet who put a drop of apomorphine in her eye to make her barf.

I can attest that the money will come out the other end. I once found coyote poop with about $40 in multiple bills in it. Yes, I did take the money, despite the poop on it!