This post may be, and probably is, Not For The Week Of Heart. Please consider yourself WARNED.
If you read further and look at any pictures past the first two, I Am Not Responsible....
So here goes. Today My Buddy Big Murphy and I were meeting at a local Boys and Girls club to teach them "How To Stay Safe" in the mountains. You know the deal. Well why we were waiting for My Vickie and Paulette to quit talking, This is the painful story that Murphy told me.
It is all truth, nothing but the truth, and unfortunately, We now have the pictures to prove it. I'll turn the time over to Murphy.
"Thanks Bert buddy, I'll take it from here. So this is how it went.
Paulette (I'll call her "My Human" from here on. I am sure you will understand why I am not giving her a more loving name because of what she did to me.)
Two nights ago, I was minding my own business when "My Humans" daughter came for a visit. She walked in, placed her purse on the couch table, then both of them went off into another room, without a "Hidy Ho", or "how ya doing" to me. They just left.
Well, there I was sitting there and there was that purse lying right close to me and well, whats a guy supposed to do? Well, I am a search dog after all and there it was, this bag filled with great smells. I decided to investigate.
When I opened the big part of the bag I was rewarded with some nice smelling one dollar bills, oh and there were some five dollar bills and a few ten dollar bills. I took a taste of them, because us dogs like to use all of our senses, taste, touch, sight, smell..... etc.
Well they tasted pretty good so......I ate them.
It was so good that I ate a few more and a big piece of paper. Then I made my way through her purse and found a wallet. Inside it I found a couple of credit cards but they don't chew up as good as money. But in the wallet I found a whole bunch of crisp new twenty dollar bills. Yes, I had struck Gold.
I was busy swallowing them when "My Human" and her daughter came back into the room. As soon as they realized their precious money was Gone My Human ran to the cupboard and grabbed the dreaded bottle of HYDROGEN PEROXIDE. Down my mouth she dumped the stuff.
You may not know this but that stuff will make a guy throw up just about everything in his stomach and that is what I did.
After all the work I had done in carefully chewing up the money and sending it down to my tummy, she forced it all back up. What is wrong with humans. And when I figured I had thrown up everything in my tummy that I possibly could and was starting to feel my tongue again, "MY HUMAN" poured some more of that stuff down my throat to make me throw up more.
Before I was done, I had thrown up $157.00 dollars and a grocery list. Gee Whiz, Can you believe what I had to go through for $157.00 bucks. The least they could have done was wait until it came out the other end. I mean, come on.
I heard them moaning and groaning for a couple of hours after that, about what piece goes with what other piece. Then they were looking for tape to tape it all back together. All for a couple of pieces of paper. Oh and lets not forget all the gagging they were doing when they were sifting through my vomit. I gotta say, that was almost worth it. So there's my story. and what lesson did I learn from this?
If your gonna eat the green, don't get caught in the act....
Disclaimer: This hydrogen peroxide episode was under the supervision of Murphys veterinarian. Be sure not to try this at home without contacting your vet. AND NEVER USE IPECAC
Oh Murphy, this makes my tennis ball episode look pretty silly. It was worth about 75 cents.....well the ball was, the actual surgery to get it out was a "little bit" more.