Tuesday, May 10, 2011

OK, I know this is a bit of a creepy picture to start off with and I know that I usually only work on my blog at the end of the week, but I was so excited to tell you about my day that I just had to do a "Talkin Tuesday" Blog entry.

So the worm.....what could be so interesting about the "Worm" I mean, they are slimy and squiggly and they don't even taste good. (Yes, I have eaten one before)

So why would I have Vickie take a picture of this one......

Well you see, I love robins. Last year me and Vickie watched a nest of robins from our attic room. We watched them build the nest, lay the eggs, the babies be born, the moma and daddy feed them and love them.

We watched as they fought off merading invadors who wanted to eat their babies, and on and on. It was a very cool couple of weeks.

So when Vickie and I were doing our 2 mile walk for the "Walking Challenge" we were thrilled, delighted and over joyed when we spotted a WHITE ROBIN.

Yes its true
WE know they are pretty rare to spot and so we just had to share the pictures with you. Isn't she beautiful? And we know that she will stay in the area because we have lots and lots of "worms". Thus the picture of THE WORM.

We now love worms. As long as they feed the mama and the daddy and the babies, we will love the worms.

Vickie says that next time we walk this way she will bring her "Bird Camera" so she can get us better pictures of Mama Robin to share with you.
We continued our walk today traveling through a lovely area that had lots of water. Vickie was making me walk on-lead all this time and I was getting concerned she might not let me run free for a bit like we always do.

I was beyond overjoyed when we came across this lovely family of geese. Now I should tell you that I know it is not good for a dog to chase geese. Vickie has made that very clear to me, so I don't chase after them. I can even swim in a lake by them and I won't bother them. But the reason I am so excited to see them is because of their most "Precious Gift" to me. And seeing a whole family of them, well it just meant that, should Vickie let me go, there would be an abundance of this "Precious Gift" all over the place.

What, you might ask, is that "Precious Gift"? Well, I will tell you......

Goose Doo-doo....

(Picture below shows you how handsome you can be after following my directions below)

I Find there are no medicinal advantages to eating goose poop.

However I do believe a good slather of the stuff all over your body can be very pleasant to the nasal membrane, thus allowing the K-9 to experience long periods of an agreeable dreamlike state. This condition could go on for days should the human partner allow it to, but in most cases they ( the humans) seem to be displeased with their dogs joy, and quickly wash the delectable substance off the body.

That was my analytical side: pretty good, don’t ya think. Now for the real scoop on the subject. Just for my four legged friends.

How to make a Goose-poop-body-scrub

You need a very fresh supply of recently discarded poop from a goose.

(Most often these are easily found close to a nesting site of a mama and papa goose.)

(Be sure that mama and papa and babies have moved on…..this is a non-negotiable point and is here for your own safety.)

Now look closely and it is very likely you will find fresh mud close by.

Roll gently in the goose poop letting it slither through-out your coat, into your ears, up your nose and between your toes.

Once you have rolled the green fresh doo-doo firmly into your coat turn to the mud and dive in.

This causes the goose pooh to be forced into your fur and closer to your skin. Given a little time it will then blend into your system thus allowing the strong pungent smell of goose pooh to remain with you for days and days.

Now quickly run away from your human partner because, and they can’t help themselves, but they will automatically want to bath you after this. Seriously, they cannot help themselves.

You need to understand that the human nose is not capable of appreciating the vivid beauty of the aroma or mystifying fragrance of ode-de-le-goose. Running is likely to be the only way to give it enough time to seep into your pours. (Do dogs have pours?)

Anyway keep away from them as long as you can. At least 10 minutes. 10 minutes should give the cream enough time to merge with your system. Then wait until they call your name again.

Turn quickly and look at them as though this were the first time you heard them call you. Joyfully run back to them as though you were a very obedient dog. If you pull this off, they will have to reward you for coming to them because they will believe that you had not heard them screaming for the last ten minutes, but that when you did hear them, you abruptly stopped and returned like a “Good Dog”


Now, if all goes as planned, they will take you immediatly to a water source. If you are lucky, like me, it will be the closest river or lake. (They really dont' want us in their vehicles at this point so a wet dog is more to their liking than a goosed dog)

If you did your job well, it will take at least five "Stick Throws" into the water to wash off enough of the top layer of ode-de-le goose before they decide it is time to go home and do a more proper job.


Of course, by the time you get home, it will have settled firmly into your glands and you can enjoy the fragrance for days. Weeks if you did it right.

Well, I guess that is about it for now. See ya next Sunday.


Boondocks, just thought you should know, you cannot do this just before you go to do your Therapy Gig.


Bert


PS. just a little article on the eating of goose doo doo. It may taste good, but I guess it is not recommended.

11 comments:

jen said...

LOL! Wow! You look great all covered in goose poop!
Please, please do not share this goose poop recipe with Leroy!:)

rottrover said...

First, Bert, you are exceedingly handsome in your header picture. Secondly this was a most instructive post. Unfortunately we do not have gooses in SoCal. Will it work with Mallard? Or Egret?

Very curiously,

Gizmo, Bart and especially Ruby who really loves perfume...

Reilly / Bree said...

Ohhhh Goose Poop Spa Day ! Maybe you jar that and sell it as a fashionable cosmetic for dogs !!!

We loved seeing the white robin - isn't she just so pretty! We have nest boxes in out yard and have some resident birdies that are busy feeding worms to young ones at the moment.

Mango said...

Goose poop is wonderful to eat! Nom! I rarely get to sample it, but I do get to eat rabbit poop which is almost as good.

Thanks for your good thoughts. Momma says a week is not a long time, but it sure does seem long.

Slobbers,
mango

Amber-Mae said...

That sounds like a great body cream but too bad there are no gooses where I live. Shoot! There are plenty of kitty poop all around my neighborhood though. They taste pretty good. Should we try rolling in them too?

Bailey Be Good! said...

Wowserz! I'm not sure what goose poop smells like, but if YOU like it and it feels like mud, I'm game!

Woofs & hugs,

~Bailey

Boondocks said...

Awww, man!! But it looks like so much fun!!! What if I let my therapy friends join me? Would it be ok then????

AROOOF!
Boondocks

The Army of Four said...

Ahhh... goose poop! Whether to eat it or to roll in it ... that is the question!
I'm not into chasing gooses, either. I make friends with them. It's what I do.
Play bows,
Zim

Remington said...

Great pics! But goose poop....I'll pass.... Yes, you may use the pic on your blog this weekend. Just don't lose it -- ha ha!

Charlie said...

Thanks for the advice, Bert! I'll definitely be watching for that goose poop stuff!!
- Charlie

Sierra Rose said...

Oh fabulous Bert!!! Well done my friend, you have this recipe down :) I know a stash of such fine poops.... and I do like to gobble them... but will have to try your suggested method...as I think I could smell you from here! Mmmmmmm. Delicious!

Sweet hugs,
Sierra Rose