Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Honestly Tank, Do you Really think I am afraid of you.

Allred Here:

That idiot Bert is off on some "I am nice to humans" day at the local hospital so I have decided to "SPEAK UP"

"Make a Stand....."

Tell you "How it is"

I shall just address TWO subjects today.  More in the days to come......


Tank/  I want you to know that I saw your little comment on Bert's Blog last week about....well.... let me just Quote YOU.

Bert - I'll be honest with you. I had a totally different entry post for MM before I saw this yesterday. I was ready to throw in the towel... no way was anybody going to beat this satanic cat. Then I remembered the little war I had (mostly on facebook) and thought some dog has to give this wretched kitty some competition.



How do you live with something like that anyway???
Then later in the week you said this:

Hi Bert - you sure have an exciting life. Me, not so much. Maybe that's why I'm such a bad sport. Speaking of which, I've got a message for that devil cat Allred... tell him once I've got Sam runnin' scared, he's next on my list. Tank
 
Next on your list!   Now I call that a challenge, and I am waiting to see a little action behind those words. 
 
I am not afraid of you.  Your little and hairy and would probably run screaming like a little girl if I even looked your way.  
 
Thus, it is clear to me and soon to all the judges THAT I AM THE KING OF MEAN.  THE BADEST OF THE BAD.
 
Hear me roar you little pip squeak.   Hear me roar.
 
Secondly:
All of this Bunk coming from that baby Bert.   Oh the precious little, sweetest, kindest doggy in the world.  Oh the lovable Burt, Oh the Best Friend, best boyfriend, best companion......ya dah ya dah YA DAH.
 
In truth, he is a big baby.  He is scared to death of me.... ME a mear feline.  Not 1/6th his size. 
 
Yes he can swim in cold water, he can climb big mountains, he can find lost people, he can comfort the sick......blah blah blah.....
 
But I could rip his pretty little face right off him in less than five seconds.  I could scar up that nose and mouth, tare out his lovely blond coat piece by peace and then what would you have.
 
So there is the truth of your Judge of BEST IN SHOW..   He is a big baby.
 
Oh, and another Truth.  HE CAN BE BOUGHT.  HE CAN BE BRIBED.  Here is how.
 
Just send any bribes or money directly to Me.  I'll take care of it from there.
 
Gotta run now.  The pipsqueak is due back soon.
 
As always,
Allred

38 comments:

GOOSE said...

OK Allred. Yes you are scary and mean and frightening, vicious, NOT a cool cat. You have sharp claws and teeth, and you smell bad.
But tougher than Bert? I think not. My buddy found a monster in the river and did NOT flinch once. So let's see how tough you are. I am inviting you to come with the pack this Friday on our adventure walk. Let's see how tough you are then. Let's see who cries like a baby. I bet it won't be Bert, or me, or Murphy, or Logan, or Annie (I could go on and on).
Come on "tough mean" Devil Cat bring it on.
As always blessings,
Goose

NanaNor's said...

I think you've got numbers against you Allred; you best be careful cause I think these beloved dogs could tear you up and spit you out.
Maybe you should try being nice once in awhile.
Noreen

Bassetmomma said...

Hilarious! I think Allred has some issues!BOL!

Tessa the Maltese said...

I sure hope that you didn't get any pressies fur Christmas cause you sure is MEAN and NASTY!

BAD BOY Alred!

BAD BOY!

Charlotte said...

Allred: shut up! don't call my darling Bert a little baby and don't blame him to be yellow! I'm as fast as a Blizzard and my claws are sharp too - AND I'm a GIRL - I know how to handle a false cat!!
By the way: Georgia little pea: let me say it friendly but only once: don't offer your affections to Bert and don't wait in hope... don't force me to say more!
Beloved Bert - I send you lots of kisses yours Charlotte

K9 Katastrophie said...

Gee I am scared of him!

Tank said...

Heeeeeere Kitty, heeeeere kitty kitty... I've got some kool-aid for you nice little kitty. There you go. Drink it all up... good kitty. Oh my, is kitty getting sleepy? Go ahead and take a nice long nap kitty... you freakish devil from hell evil pathetic excuse for a pet.

Note for Allred if/when he wakes up - there's a difference between being a bad sport and just being BAD all the way to your core. As my grandma used to say... your head should have been pinched off at birth.

Love, Tank

Kootenai's Summit Post said...

You managed to scare me, Kitty. I am scared of cats to begin with...and this blog DEFINATELY DOESN'T HELP ME WITH MY FEAR. I would be kind of scared to see what you would think about me, if you are that tough on Bert. Nice kitty...Nice kitty...

Shawnee the Shepherd said...

OMD, my knees be knocking togedder I be so skeered. You will NOT find me in my hidey spot. Rilly, I will NOT be there.

Meeka said...

Hi Allred,
You are very entertaining. You should have your own blog. Seriously, think about it.

The Army of Four said...

I'm supposed to be on Guard Duty right now, so this has to be quick. Two things:
1. I got all excited because I thought you wrote that Bert is Best in SNOW. Sorry. I get excited about stuff like that.
2. Allred, you COULD leave some nasty scars across Bert's face ... but you won't. Because deep down inside, I know you're really a nice kitty-cat. We should hang out together sometime. Really.
Play bows,
Zim

Frankie Furter said...

{{{WHIMPER}}} {{{WHINE}}} Shake Shiver {{WHIMPER}}

Tom, Tama-Chan, Sei-Chan, Bibi-Chan, Gen-Chan, Vidock said...

Alfred, I really feel I need to apologise for a lot that has been said to you and about you. Please believe that not all doggies are either mean to or scared of cats. I love my kitties (and I have for of them) and they love me. It's just a shame you don't live here because we could all have a purr-fest.

Woofs,
Tommy

Ellen said...

My on my Allred...please don't get in kahoots with our Luna and Leela. Goodness only knows if they had a chance to write on my blog.

Maggie Mae said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Maggie Mae said...

Trash Talk...I LOVE IT!!

Woofs and Licks,
Judge(Bad Sport) Maggie Mae

Reilly / Denny Cowspotdogs said...

Oh Oh....Allred has spoken and I think Tank could be in trouble. Be affraid Tank - be very affraid!

GOOSE said...

ummm MOM is making me, I mean suggested I be nice to Allred. So, Allred I am sorry if I hurt your feelings, you don't smell that bad. I just feel a need to stick up for my friend Bert.
I still however would like to invite you on our walk Friday.
Blessings even to you Allred,
Goose

Rubie said...

I'm too scared to say ANYTHING in this conversation!!! Yikes!!!!

Tail Wuggles, Rubie

Bailey Be Good! said...

Those kitties can sometimes LOOK VERY SCARY!! Trust me, I know!

Woofs & hugs, <3

~Bailey (Yep, I'm a girl!)

Amber DaWeenie said...

Shake...Shake...Shiver...rattle & roll!!! And shiver some more!

2browndawgs said...

I think Allred posts may be my favorite...lol.

Murphigator said...

OH Alley -- calm down. I can vouch for the fact that you pack a swift and sharp whack (might still have a little scar, but it just adds to my character) but it only hurts for a minute. I LOVE to visit you. I feel all warm inside and bounce up and down when you show me your cute little fangs. I think Bert secretly loves you too -- even if it is a BIG secret.
Hope to visit you soon!
Murphy

KB said...

What's your address, Allred? We need that to send our bribes!

You are one scary looking cat. Has Bert's Vickie looked into an exorcist yet? :)

When I Grow Up I Want to be a Vet said...

Oh Allred, even knowing your inner thoughts, you are so cute I am quite sure I would not be able to help myself and I would just hug you. Maybe we should not meet in person. Those are some wicked claws you have! (((hugs)))

The Cat From Hell said...

Dear Allred!
You are one handsome man cat! Me is not too sure what yous wrote, because me was looking at your beautiful face. Me knows yous can't be as nasty as evereybody says because Vickie loves yous and Bert too.
anyway, me is going to send yous a Cat from hell Badge!
Kisses
Nellie

Prancer Pie said...

Dood, from one kitteh to anudder: You gotta address those anger issues. We thinks you might qualify to be a CFH (cat from hell).

STELLA and RORY from Down Under said...

Howdy Mr Allred, all we can say is "Thank Dog we live in Oz". You are one scary dude. Poor Rory read this and now we can't get him out from behind the couch!! No worries (cause we live a long, long, long way away phew) and a little love, but not much, Stella and Rory

Mango said...

Does Bert need to go into the witness protection program? I fear for his well being.

Slobbers,
Mango

IRIS E DONA said...

Allred, you are really a bad bad boy... thank God I'm very far from you ... but i'm affraid for my dear friend Bert ...

Kisses (for Bert, not for you Devil Cat)

Iris

haopee said...

Ouch, lol Allred's on fire. I bet Tank's next on his list.

Okay, the doggies will rescind... the doggies will rescind!!!

Huggies and Cheese,

Haopee

Sugar the Golden Retriever said...

Woof! Woof! Oh Oh! watch out for Tank. You'll be a great judge. Lots of Golden Woofs, Sugar

If you have not visited my blog ... we finally did the blog move to WprdPress...Visit my new (WP) blog: www.sugarthegoldenretriever.com
In order to follow my blog, subscribe to my blog feed (details on my blog) and add my url to your blog reader. Lots of Golden Thanks

Sarge said...

Hey Allred!
Wow, you're cruisin' fur a bruisin' I think! BOL. Bert's a real sweetie, and you're, well, um, NOT!
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, COP

Remington said...

All I can say -- because I have kitty brothers and a sister....Cats RULE and I DROOL! I have learned you don't mess with a kitty cat....

Whisppy said...

Careful now, Tank. Allred has his claws out for you!

Sam and Pippen said...

Allred... dude... it's your fellow bad sport competitor here, Sam. Let me know if you need any help with Tank - we'd be glad to gang up on him, just for the heck of it! And we LOVE kittehs! We live with one ourselves so we know you can't be ALL that bad!

Sam and Pippen

snoopy@snoopysdogblog said...

Allred,

Just you wait until Bert gets back and finds out what you've been up to!!

He may be a little scared - there's nothing wrong with that, cos I'm scared of the weirdest things (like grocery bags, but only when Dad gets one out!) - Anyway, I digress.....

My point is, that you're forgetting that Bert has LOTS of buddies and together we're gonna rise up against anyone who isn't nice to any one of us and we'll be way stronger than you - and then you'll be the little Scardy Cat!!

Plus, Mum said I can hide behind her leg whilst all this is taking place!!

Now, get off your high horse and give Bert some much deserved respect!!

Btw Allred, ever thought about being nice to Bert? You might find it fun? Just a thought!

Bert's pal Snoopy - I could be your pal too if you're nice to Bert! :)

Jed and Abby in MerryLand said...

Allred, solicitation of bribes is NOT permitted in Mango Minster. You are receiving this warning because, being both a cat and a Bad Sport candidate, you may have been under the delusion that the rules do not apply to you. That you would solicit bribes allegedly for your brother, Judge Bert, only compounds your offense. Please be advised that Abby takes her responsibilities as Official Guardian of Ethics for Mango Minster VERY seriously. And unlike some of the more timid doggies of your acquaintance, Abby has a VERY strong prey drive. Please amend your behavior to comport with the high standards of Mango Minster should you wish to continue to participate.

Abby the Legal Beagle[mix] Extraordinaire and Official Guardian of Ethics for MM2012 [yes, I said it twice just to be sure you heard me]