Monday, October 31, 2011

Allred Speaks Up

 I honestly think it is time that everyone in Blogville hears "the Truth".  Honestly I can't beleive you all have been so taken in by that simpleton Bert.
 Seriously...Look at me....Do I look like the Devil..... I mean, lets compare.  Me....
 Dirt.....I mean Bert....

 Don't let this goofy innocent face fool you.  It is I Not Bert who suffers the most in this household.  You have no idea of all the bull I have to deal with around here.
 Every single guest that Bert invites into our house bugs me.  They follow me around, they push me with their snouts, the try to get me to run from them, they drool on me.......they are idiots, I tell you.....k-9 simpletons.
 I have a castle that Berts My Vickie had made for me so I would be safe from the drooling, staring, teasing excuse for a species.  but do they respect that? 

No!!! not a one of them shows any appreciation for my eminence.
 For example.....Murphy....I even smacked him on the nose one day to show him my superiority.  The bugger was bleedin all over the place.  I figured I had really showed him what to.   But the next thing I know.....
The nincompoop was trying to get up into my Castle for another meeting of the claws.  Shees what is with these guys.
 so then he goes for the "Pitty Look" when he realizes he can't get me and that his nose hurts.  Who does Berts My Vickie go to in comforting remisseration?  NOT ME.
 I don't find the little guests near as annoying as I do the big ones.  They do try to stare me down but I find them to be of little interest to me.
 That cold winter night when I first came live with this wild array of creatures, I knew exactly what I was in for.  I came in prepared to deal with a bunch of adolescent k-9's.  Don't get me wrong, I am great ful that Bert's My Vickie took me in, just know that I didn't pick this house without knowing full well what I was getting myself into.
 Of course there is always the exception and that is Sweet Jamie.  For a k-9, she is the exception to the rule.  Gentle, quiet, respectful.....key word here...RESPECTFUL
 But for the rest of them I must be always ready to teach them the errors of their ways.  IF it takes a firm smack on the face or a ripping bite on the butt, well, a cat has got to do what a cat has to do.
 So Bert...FYI....I see you comin dude.....I know all about your "ability to charm" all those two legged anthropodes....but just beware...I am watching and waiting....I will get you my lovely.....hee heee ehhheeeee


24 Paws of Love said...

WE AGREE!! 2 against 6 simpletons over here!! They still never learn, but those bipeds fall for their sap every time, when they should all be bowing down to us!! Cats Rule and Dogs Drool!!

KB said..., Bert. You must be terrified. Alfred is evil and he has teeth as big as a cougar's! If you ever need to, you can come stay in our house to get away from him :)

Absolutely awesome photos. Alfred knows how to look menacing!

Your Vickie asked me a bunch of questions about bear hibernation. Here's what I know. Tiny probably does not know exactly where he's going to den but he has a list of possible dens in his head. He'll go around checking them out. He can tell if one is already occupied by scent. Bear smell is really strong. If a den is occupied, he won't even approach it closely - he'll just move on to another one. If he visits an empty one, he'll go in and try lying in it. He'll check out the area around it, and he may or may not choose it. I don't understand the factors that make a bear choose or reject a den.

I found an occupied bear den almost 2 yrs ago. It's a rock cave that has obviously been used by bears for a very long time. I have a cam outside that I check only in the depths of winter. Last year, about 8 bears visited it over the year but none chose to sleep in it.

Bears look for dens all summer long, and they apparently keep a list in their heads for when they are searching for a den in the winter.

Anonymous said...


You are one evil kittie!


GOOSE said...

Bert how could you let Allred get a hold of your Blog? Never leave your account open, you never know what evil Devil Cat will hi-jack it. But not to worry Buddy, I know where the truth lies. No right minded dog will believe a word he says. I mean just look at him! Hang tough brother.

Tom, Tama-Chan, Sei-Chan, Bibi-Chan, Gen-Chan, Vidock said...

Alfred.... One thing is perfectly clear. There need to be more kitties in your house. We're glad you have gentle and sweet Jamie there to show you that woofies are wonderful (not that we mean to be rude to Bert or the others, or anything...). We have our Tommy and he is a PRINCE!

And they really MUST learn that your castle is YOUR Castle!!!

The Chans

STELLA and RORY from Down Under said...

Allred, you are a star. About time someone told the cat's truth about living with dogs. Oh oh, I'd better go, here they come. Love Penny

bichonpawz said...

YIKES! Look at those TEETH!!! Cougar Teeth!! We are surprised that they all aren't scared off by your SCREAMING!! xoxo Chloe and LadyBug

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

Allred, the look in your eyes alone would make us just walk away - please be nice to Bert, remember being respectful is a two-way street.

Love that pic of sweet Jamie.

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

Catherine said...

Haha ~ cats truly do rule the roost don't they? The masters of their own domain. King of the castle! The big boss. Yup.... that's why we love them!

I think everyone looks extra sweet and innocent in the photos...well...maybe not everyone.... ;)

Happy November furry friends!
xo Catherine

Sarge said...

Hey Allred!
Wow, I think you should come here to live with me! I promise I won't ever stare or chase or try to bash you at all. Okay, okay, okay. That's a great big hairy dog lie. Ptthththt. What can I say, we can't help it!! BWAR HAR HAR. Ahem.
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, COP

Shawnee the Shepherd said...

I just want you to know, Allred, that I has the utmostest respect fur the kittehs and I has the thurd nostril to prove it! I always turn my head as a kitteh passes by. Don't get me wrong, it do not be a bow of respect, I be hiding my snooter!

Frankie Furter said...


Allred... I gotta just ADMIT this..
YOU... scare the poops outta me.

Even if I (Frankie Furter) WAS as hooge as Bert and his buddies.. YOU would STILL scare the Poops outta me.

I'm just sayin.... um Respectfully, of course.

Suka said...

Allred, that was a pawsome post! Very funny! And the pictures were great!

However, being of the Canine species, I tend to side with Bert. Don't get me wrong, I love Kitty-Cats (well, some), and I admit, you are pretty cool, but dogs will always be No. 1!!!!


Remington said...

Well, my friend, like they say at our house -- Cats Rule and I just Drool....what can I say?

Sugar the Golden Retriever said...

Woof! Woof! Golden LAUGHS!!! Hope you guys behave very well yesterday being Halloween.
OH BTW: tell your Vickie we went for a walk n mom took weird odd photos of dried weed plants. Lots of Golden LOVE n Woofs, Sugar

RYKER said...

Hummm..... We have the opposite situation at our house. I am the lone wolf in a house of felines. Good thing you guys are not good at organizing or I be in deep dodo. As is I can handle a cat one on one, err, most of the time. And I must admit that cat humping is one of my favorite pass times, much easier than cat herding!

Whisppy said...

How great that you got to put up a post today. I think you are very patient and being called Devil Cat just doesn't seem right...

Tanner and Beth said...

Cats are .... well, cats!!! They just don't get it.

Puppy Kisses,

2browndawgs said...

Allred, did you really make Murphy's nose bleed? You are one tough kitty!

the 2 brown dawgs

Sagira said...

You show em whos boss!

Sophie said...

That cat is dangerous!

LOVE the last photo, haha!

NCmountainwoman said...

Sorry Allred. I think you are indeed a devil cat. A clever, conniving satan devil cat more than willing to scratch a gentle loving soul like Murphy or Bert. I cannot be fooled by a devil cat...not even on Halloween!

Now, Bert. Man up and get that evil cat away from the computer.

Elizabeth said...

Hang in there, Allred. They're special and require lots of patience. Or lashings. :)

The Cat From Hell said...

Dearest Allred,
Oh! Bert is a nice dog, and he has talked about the devil cat Allred but me never realized what a wonderful charming specimine of cat Yous is!!! Me LOVES your cattitude! Me thinks yous and me could make sweet music together!!
Penelope the Cat From Hell

Anonymous said...

Ah, yea, your honor, king ah what FFFFFrankie sssaid.

Miss Kodee said...

I'd not be tangling with those toothies!! :)